Where Has The Time Gone?

So here it is, almost 2 am, and I can't sleep. Things have been this way for about a week now and it's making me nuts. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that at my doctor's appointment on Friday I was dilated almost 3cm and yet I still have not packed a bag to take with me when the big moment arrives.....which could be any time. And yet knowing this I still don't feel any urgency to do it. Nor have we put the car seat in the vehicle. So when I'm running around having major contractions grabbing this and that on my way out the door I'll have no one to blame but myself.

I've always been the procrastinator. I never pack for a trip before the night before or day of. I'm usually always late because in my mind I have plenty of time. Well time is quickly slipping away from me on this one and I still can't get into gear. I don't know if somehow in my head I'm thinking "oh technically I still have 18 days, there's plenty of time " or what.

I feel like my house is a disaster and I do not want my mammy coming with it looking like it does. The carpet has got to be shampooed and everything needs to be dusted. The stupid house in New York has a large family of bees living behind/in the chimney so that has to be taken care of and no one is going to rent a house when they come around the corner and hear the bees before they can see them. I AM STRESSED OUT!!!!

I think the best way for me to deal with all of this is to have a good cry and then take things one at a time. Do what I can do and to hell with the rest of it. So for now I think I'll let the tears flow, eat my raspberries, start on that hospital bag and monitor these crazy Braxton-Hicks contractions.

And try to enjoy these last days of just JR and I. I'm going to be somebodies mommy soon. How crazy is that!